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I MET MY MISSING UNCLE THROUGH HIS
CONFESSION
Sokha Irene
During my second
year at Phnom Penh University, I worked as a volunteer at the Documentation
Center of Cambodia, later becoming a part-time staff member there. Through this work, I learned a great
deal about the truth of this terrible period. Once I asked a researcher who was
making a catalogue of confession documents whether I might find any clue about
my missing uncle through the documents. I partly regretted having asked, because
if the documents revealed that he had been killed by the regime, what would the
news do to my aunt? While she
herself knows that it is unlikely that her husband survived the regime, I can
see that every time she is told that her husband might still be alive, there are
two things fighting against each other in her mind. One is the extremely small
chance that those Khmer Rouge monsters left her beloved husband alive. The other
is the love for her husband that still has a place in her heart, and gives her
hope that he is still alive. It is
not easy to understand how Cambodian widows like my aunt must feel. Not only her
husband’s life, but their entire world together was taken away. The year 1979
was a starting point of a new life, but unlike the new-born baby starting life
surrounded by a loving and caring family, every Cambodian was born a second time
into sorrow, with the loss of beloved people that left a big hole in their
hearts. Many women came back as widows, left alone to bear the responsibilities
of bringing up children.
I found the
document written by him, my aunt’s husband. It is an 89-page confession that was
written between December 13, 1978 and December 20, 1978. On the front page of
the document there is a message addressed to the so-called “Angkar”, probably
written by the Khmer Rouge cadre who was in charge of verifying the confession.
At the end of the message there appears the signature of “Von”, who was an
interrogator at Toul Sleng prison. According to the documents at DC-CAM, this
person was responsible for interrogating the prisoners of Pourk Ti 3 of Krom
Kdao (“Team 3” of “Hot
Group”).
The confession
reminded me of the Toul Sleng brochure that shows how the prisoners were
tortured until they said what Angkar wanted to hear. This memory shook my heart,
to think of how the confession I was holding came to exist. It took me a long
time to finish reading the confession. It was written by the uncle that I never
met an in-law that the family is so proud to have as a part of us. I always
wanted to meet him, but I never thought that I would. Finally, I met his
“confession”, talking indirectly and unknowingly. The terrifying picture that I
saw in the brochure kept coming into my mind as I was reading the confession. I
then thought of the feelings of my aunt. The picture would be clearer and more
horrible in her memory because she suffered under that regime herself. Her young
and innocent daughter was also
killed by the Khmer Rouge regime, simply because the child wore glasses and was
therefore accused of being intellectual. It is a very painful memory that my
aunt has had to bear ever since.
Now it is time for
justice. It is time to prove that Cambodians and the world value Cambodian lives
as highly as the lives of others in other nations around the globe.
Even though the
Khmer Rouge nightmare happened twenty years ago, the memories are still fresh in
our hearts. My uncle’s innocent soul is still wandering, asking for
justice.
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